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Listening well is not simply hearing the words being said...

In today’s world where it’s hard to concentrate on one thing, it’s not easy to listen to others properly or entirely. It happens many times when someone is talking to us and after a certain period, we just stop listening and divert our mind to something else. This is a very small thing, and most of us don’t care about this or don’t even want to think about this habit. It is really important to listen mindfully to what others are saying cause being a good listener can help us grow as a person and can also help us to see the world in an all-new light. Just by listening to others, we can improve our talking or communication skills.

The way we talk or listen to someone decides the kind of relationship we are going to share with them. If we peacefully listen to others, then it shows that we are interested in what the other person is trying to say about his experience or opinions or any expertise. If a person is heard peacefully with full attention, makes that person feel valued and important It’s hard to find these kinds of people in today’s world. It often happens that when one person is talking then another person is looking here and there or will try to change the conversation by interrupting the other one. We feel special when someone hears us out peacefully.

Benefits of Being a Good Listener -

  • If we listen to someone carefully then it helps us to understand their point of view and we can have insight into that.

  • For a Good Listener, it’s always easy to develop bond and relationship with others.

  • By listening to someone mindfully we can show some respect towards them.

  • If we listen to what the other person is saying with focus, then there will be less chance of miscommunication.

  • Relationship between two person gets healthy if we listen.

  • We can get important and useful information.

  • Mindful listening can make better decision capabilities.

  • Confidence can be increased.

So, why don’t we start from ourselves to change this habit of not listening to others properly? Here are some ways, by using these methods I believe that you will get benefited and will become a good listener-

1. Use Body Language -

For talking, speaking is not always necessary, sometimes you can use your body language as a medium to talk. For an example-

  • You can simply nod your head to show an agreement or disagreement while listening.

  • Always make eye contact with the speaker during a conversation, not all the time because it may make the speaker a bit nervous.

  • You can simply smile to show that everything is fine or to show that you are happy to listen to them.

  • You can show empathy by touching the shoulder.

  • By using different-different posture you can convey what you want to say.

  • Not touching the gadgets is also a way to convey that you are interested in that conversation.

​2. Never change the Subject or Interrupt in between -

It’s a basic thing whenever a speaker is speaking then let them complete their though don’t interrupt them. In normal conversation, people generally interrupts the conversation. It doesn’t matter that you are agreeing or not to that talk first you have to let them finish their thought. Stopping a speaker in between is like getting to know the half-knowledge of anything. Always wait for your turn in your conversation. Also never try to change the subject in between a conversation. First, let that topic be finished then start a new topic to chat on. If you just change the topic in between the conversation, then it shows that you are not interested in listening about what the speaker wants to share with you.

3. Think twice before Responding -

When your turn comes up to speak always choose your words wisely before speaking to them out cause these words will showcase your listening skills and shows how much you were in that conversation? Always take enough time to respond so that you can have appropriate words to show that you were well aware of what they were talking.

4. Remove or Avoid all distracting Elements -

Whenever you are interacting with someone, always avoid distracting elements such as smartphones, electronic gadgets, computers, television, radio or anything else. If you are in the midst of something that cannot be avoided, but someone wants to talk to you at the same time, ask them to wait until the work is over, because multitasking will always affect hearing ability.

5. Always see the Facial or Body Expression and Tone of Voice -

  • Whenever you are in conversation with someone then watch them closely to see how they sit - crossed arms posture show the speaker is in defensive mode and open arm posture shows that the speaker is confident.

  • See their facial expression when they say that they are happy or says everything is good but their face looks anxious or match with what they say means a smile or relaxed expression on their face.

  • You can also notice their sound pitch whether they sound tired, depressed, confused or enthusiastic, happy.

6. Never Judge Other Person While Listening -

Though it’s hard to not judge the speaker while listening to someone you always have to be impartial and should not judge that person. Whenever we are in conversation with someone as soon as they say something, our mind starts to assume them and we start to paint the picture with our opinions.

Always stay focused and control yourself from making any conclusion because there is always so much more to a person than what meets the eye and ear. So always stay neutral.

7. Be a Secret-Keeper -

Whenever someone shares their thoughts or secrets always try to keep that secret. It’s a human tendency that whenever they have something secret about someone, they want to share it with others too. Being a good listener it’s your responsibility to show integrity and keep that conversation secret or keep it in between you two only

Paul Walker

Mobile: +44(0)7488330389



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